Category: Wordiness - words by kurt

Improving writing one writer at a time

Tip #95: Stay a long way away from long variants

11/12/2015

I’ve been posting intermittently about how wordiness dilutes the effectiveness of technical writing. But wordiness includes much more than an excess number of words. Wordiness can also include long variants.

Long variants are simple words inflated with prefixes or suffixes to provide a perception of added value in their inclusion. But because the prefixes or suffixes typically do not add any nuance of meaning, including long variants in your writing dilutes its power and with it its effectiveness. In essence, long variants are another version of wordiness.

The list below contains some common examples of long variants compared with the simple words that convey the same meaning. Simple words convey meaning more clearly and therefore more effectively. This is why the words in the right-hand column are more effective than their listed counterparts in the left-hand column.

The above list is not comprehensive but sufficient to convey the idea of long variants. More effective technical writers stay away a long way away from long variants. They know that simpler words which convey the same meaning communicate more powerfully and provide a better representation of themselves and their brands. Follow their lead, and you will reap their results.

Tip #94: Don’t be indecisive about whether or not

11/5/2015

Wordiness in technical writing always makes for less effective writing, and so I’ve been posting about specific examples to illustrate that truth. For example, two months ago I posted about avoiding the wordiness inherent in phrases like on account of. The following week I stayed on that wordiness train by looking at where … at. This week that train makes another stop at the station of whether or not.

The words or not in whether or not serve no purpose. Whether already connotes a choice, so adding or not adds no meaning. Writers who use this expression dilute the power — and with it the effectiveness — of their writing. More effective writers will simply delete or not.

That means that the example sentence in the cropped graphic above is less effective. A more effective version would read

Regarding the question of whether corrosion was the root cause failure mode, our investigation suggests that fretting fatigue may play a more initial role.

Can you feel the difference between the example sentence in the cropped graphic and the sentence directly above? Avoiding unnecessary words produces stronger writing. So don’t be indecisive about whether or not. Tighter writing usually makes for more effective writing, and that will produce a more effective image of you and your brands.

Tip #88: Ax the at in where … at

9/24/2015

Last week I posted about avoiding the wordiness inherent in phrases like on account of. This week our wordiness train continues its journey to the construction where … at.

In this construction, at serves no real purpose in written English. In spoken English it serves as a speech marker, but that convention does not translate to written English. More effective technical writers, then, will eliminate at in phrase constructions involving where.

That means that the example sentence in the cropped graphic above is less effective. A more effective version could read like this:

Our team obtained the evidence from the consultant where his office is.

or like one of these alternative suggestions:

Our team obtained the evidence from the consultant where his office is located.

Our team obtained the evidence from the consultant at his office.

That last suggestion is probably the most effective one.

In any case, avoid unnecessary words in your writing. Ax the at in where … at. Tighter writing usually makes for more effective writing, and that will produce a more effective image of you and your brands.

Tip #87: Avoid on account of on account of wordiness

9/17/2015

Three months ago I posted about avoiding the wordiness in phrases like inasmuch as. Because inasmuch as really means because, using inasmuch as (two words) instead of because (one word) dilutes the power — and hence the effectiveness — of your writing.

We could say the say the same thing about on account of. On account of also means because, only this expression is worse because it has three words instead of the two words in inasmuch as. But the choice is the same for more effective technical writers; they use because, not inasmuch as and not on account of.

Let’s examine once more the difference made in eliminating wordiness. Read the example sentence in the graphic above and feel the impression it makes upon you as a reader. Then compare that impression with the one made when you read the sentence below.

Because the gear teeth develop cracking in their roots, plant personnel should inspect the gearbox regularly.

On account of sounds elevated, but that’s deceptive. Extra words adding little if any meaning to the message conveyed dilute the power of your language. It’s just filler material, and filler material never carries much real weight.

So, avoid on account of on account of wordiness. Always be mindful of more concise ways to say the same thing. Your writing will pack more punch, and that will more effectively communicate a better image of both you and your brands.

Tip #85: Use if or when, not if and when

9/3/2015

Understanding the difference between spoken English and written English can lead to more effective technical writing. That’s because the conventions of each communication form aren’t quite the same. More effective writing respects the appropriate convention.

That means that some expressions considered appropriate in speaking won’t be so in writing. If and when provides a good case in point. Often speakers want to communicate regarding a potential future event with some uncertainty regarding its occurrence. So a speaker might use the expression if and when (or alternatively, when and if) to send that message.

But that doesn’t really work in the written form. That uncertainty communicated in speech bleeds ambiguity onto the page or screen. While desirable in many forms of creative fiction, ambiguity usually makes less effective technical writing.

More effective technical writers will replace if and when and when and if with either when or if. Are you certain the event you describe will happen? If so, use when. If not, use if.

Thus, a more effective technical writer will revise the example sentence in the cropped graphic in one of two ways.

If the sealing gasket fails, the secondary safety system will activate.

When the sealing gasket fails, the secondary safety system will activate.

Will the sealing gasket actually fail? You can’t really know without more information. The key question for the writer is one of uncertainty, and since failure is a probabilistic event, the key question needs to be asked in terms of probability or risk. If the risk of failure is high, then the writer should use when. If the risk of failure is low, then the writer should use if.

More effective technical writing is assertive. That means more effective technical writers don’t quibble regarding if and when. They use if or when, not if and when and not when and if. Make sure your writing follows that lead. It will more effectively communicate your message, and that will portray you and your brands more effectively.

Tip #82: In terms of in terms of, be judicious

8/13/2015

Wordiness usually makes for less effective writing. Much of the wordiness appearing in technical writing results from the failure to distinguish written English from spoken English. Many expressions appropriate in spoken English simply won’t do in written English.

Take, for instance, the popular expression in terms of. When used to signal specificity or provide clarification, in terms of can be appropriate. However, when used in place of prepositions such as about, on, or of, in terms of is nothing more than wordiness that diminishes the quality of one’s writing.

Consider the example in the cropped graphic above. Most writers can detect the effect of the wordiness in in terms of simply by reading the example sentence out loud. In this instance, the writer uses in terms of as a substitute for a preposition. Exchanging three words for one without sacrificing meaning makes space for more power in the writing, thus increasing its effectiveness. Here are some replacements for the example sentence.

The introduction to the laboratory report briefly discourses about thermal fatigue in evaporator piping.

The introduction to the laboratory report briefly discourses on terms of thermal fatigue in evaporator piping.

The introduction to the laboratory report briefly discourses upon thermal fatigue in evaporator piping.

Or the writer can avoid the need for a preposition altogether by using a different verb.

The introduction to the laboratory report briefly discusses thermal fatigue in evaporator piping.

Any of these options is better than the example sentence in the cropped graphic above, and no one option is any more correct than another. The writer simply selects according to personal preference.

However, sometimes in terms of may be appropriate. Consider this example:

In terms of corrosion resistance, Hastalloy X outshines all other materials currently under consideration. However, AISI 1020 steel beats the other materials in terms of cost.

Here the writer uses in terms of appropriately. Replacing in terms of with a preposition as before produces awkward results.

About corrosion resistance, Hastalloy X outshines all other materials currently under consideration.

Of corrosion resistance, Hastalloy X outshines all other materials currently under consideration.

On corrosion resistance, Hastalloy X outshines all other materials currently under consideration.

That last attempt appears somewhat acceptable, but it still doesn’t have the impact that in terms of provides.

So in terms of in terms of, be judicious. If it actually specifies or clarifies as part of your message, in terms of can be appropriate. Otherwise, in terms of is just wordiness that diminishes the effectiveness of your writing. And less effective writing makes a less impressive association with you and your brands in the minds of your audience.

Tip #72: Inasmuch as wordiness dilutes, avoid it

6/4/2015

I’ve been posting about the little things that make the difference in effective writing. Two weeks ago I showed how wordy expressions like on the grounds of weaken otherwise effective writing. This week I’m doing likewise with a shorter yet still oft abused phrase: inasmuch as.

Inasmuch as really means because. And because one word conveys its meaning, effective technical writers never use inasmuch as; they use because.

Examine, if you will, the difference eliminating wordiness makes. Read the example sentence in the graphic above and feel the impression it makes upon you as a reader. Then compare that impression with the one made when you read the sentence below.

Because the weather delayed the project, the building will not be completed on schedule.

Inasmuch as sounds erudite, but that’s deceptive. Extra words which add little or no meaning to the message conveyed dilute the power of your language. It’s like adding more solvent to a solution; additional solvent (your words) decreases the concentration of solute (your message) and with it the overall impact your solution (communication mechanism) can make.

So, because wordiness dilutes the power of your messages, always be mindful of more concise ways to say the same thing. Your writing will pack more punch, and that will more effectively communicate a better image of both you and your brands.

Tip #71: Beware the phenomenon of subject-verb mismatch

5/28/2015

Last week I posted about the need to avoid wordiness. This week I’m tackling a specific instance of subject-verb agreement.

Subjects and verbs in a sentence must agree in number. Most writers have little difficulty instilling this agreement in their sentences. However, a few words, typically with Greek roots, can pose problems.

One such word is phenomenon, which means something observable. Phenomenon is singular. The plural form of phenomenon is phenomena. Yet some writers confuse the two.

Take the example sentence in the graphic above, for instance. Phenomena, the subject of the sentence, is plural, and so the verb in the sentence must be plural also. Yet has been understood is singular; have been understood is plural. Thus, the more proper sentence reads

The phenomena associated with this failure mode have been understood only within the past twenty years.

If the writer wanted to use the singular forms, the sentence would need to appear something like this:

The phenomenon of this failure mode has been understood only within the past twenty years.

Beware the phenomenon of subject-verb mismatch! Such devices always weaken writing, making it more difficult to convey to your audience the positive image of your brand that you want to convey.

Tip #70: Eliminate wordiness on the grounds of effectiveness

5/21/2015

Producing more effective writing often means attending to the little things. And in many realms of life, the little things make all the difference.

Effective writing that positively promotes your image and your brand is no different. Wordiness usually does not produce effective writing, especially in the formal settings for which technical writing is directed. Thus, effective technical writers will seek to eliminate wordiness as much as possible.

Often, failure to recognize the difference between spoken English and written English can allow wordy expressions acceptable in spoken arenas to seep into writing. Take, for instance, the example sentence in the graphic above. On the grounds that appears commonly in spoken vernacular. But this expression communicates the same meaning as because; the only difference is added words. Added words without added or clarified meaning is wasteful and thus makes writing less effective.

Compare the example sentence with this tighter, more effective one.

The company released the evidence because the law required it.

Can you feel the difference between those two sentences? This is why effective writers always seek to minimize wordiness in their writing. Communicating the same meaning with fewer words always conveys more power. And that extra power can mean good news for your image and brand as well as the image and brand you want your writing to promote.

On the grounds of falls under the same heading. Because can effectively substitute for this expression as well.

So make sure you eliminate wordiness on the grounds that it makes your writing more effective. Better communication conveys a better image in the mind of your audience. And that makes a better perception of your brand in their minds.