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Tip #7: Recognize when serial commas are optional

2/13/2014

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Commas are perhaps both the most widely used punctuation mark and the most incorrectly used punctuation mark.  That makes commas an obvious object of my weekly tips.

Here's one regarding serial commas, also known as listing commas since they are used when listing separate elements.  The accepted convention has traditionally been to use the comma to separate each element of the list or series, including the final one indicated by the conjunction and.  That convention, however, is changing.

Consider the example shown in the cropped image above.  The predicate contains a list of three items.  In the example shown above, a comma does not appear before the final coordinating conjunction (indicated with the red underline).

This usage is not incorrect.  It represents the changing convention with the changing times.  Thus the comma in this place is optional.

The previous comma, however, is not optional.  A comma between reaction and fewer is essential to indicate that the items are in series or part of a list.

My recommendation

Call me old school, but I prefer the traditional convention.  The comma will then indicate the division between each element in the series and prevent confusion, especially if one of those elements has two or more sub-elements.  Thus, I recommend rewriting the sentence in this way:


Clean air intake provides a cleaner reaction, fewer emissions, and lower maintenance costs.

Again, this is entirely optional.  The use of the final comma in a list is stylistic choice for the writer.  Personally, I prefer to eliminate confusion, which is why I recommend sticking to the traditional convention.
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Tip #2: Avoid commas in lists of less than three items

1/9/2014

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Many people mistakenly believe that writing is easy.  And with that mistaken belief they often write like they speak.  Yet that practice rarely if ever produces solid writing.  Here is a common example of how writing like speaking produces less effective writing.  Observe the example shown in the cropped image.  The use of the comma in the last sentence represents a common speech pattern: the pause.  In speech, an effectively used pause can emphasize specific ideas or impress a desired message upon a listener.

Speaking and writing, however, are two different animals.  

In writing, commas do not represent pauses as do they in speaking.  Commas signal sentence construction; they indicate relationships between phrases within a sentence or between items within a single phrase (such as in a list).  Depending on what those relationships are, the comma may not even be needed.

In the example shown in the image, the final phrases in the last sentence describe the methodology presented in the paper.  The description has two elements:

  1. “indicating and eradicating problem root causes”
  2. “the root causes of complex systems failures”

We know these are the elements because of the use of the conjunction and.  The adverb specifically identifies the second element as a subordinate element of the first; root causes of complex systems failures are a specific type of problem root causes.

Option #1: Remove the commas.

I can just hear someone in a conference somewhere reading this paper as the text of his or her presentation.  Placing a comma to separate out items in a two-item list makes no sense grammatically.  Commas are used to separate items in a list of three or more items.  The commas here are not even needed.  Thus, I would recommend removing them.  The sentence would then read as follows:

This paper presents a manner of indicating and eradicating problem root causes and specifically the root causes of complex system failures.

Option #2: Remove the commas and tighten the sentence.

If the paper provides no more than a brief mention of the general case of problem root causes, then the paper really isn’t about the general case at all, and the writer could provide a more effective sentence by tightening it.

This paper presents a manner of indicating and eradicating the root causes of complex systems failures.

Again, no need for the comma.

Option #3: Use the comma in a grammatically correct manner.

However, if the writer were particularly attached the comma in this example sentence, he or she could use the comma to separate out the adverb specifically.  The sentence would then read as follows:

This paper presents a manner of indicating and eradicating problem root causes and, specifically, the root causes of complex systems failures.

This option retains some hearkening of the pause pattern common to speaking while still being grammatically correct.  In this case, the commas are purely optional.

Personally, I would examine the content of the paper and pursue Option #2 if it is appropriate.  If it is not appropriate, and the writer insists that the focus areas in the content remain unchanged, then I recommend Option #1.  Speaking and writing are two different animals, and given options I usually recommend the cleaner, tighter manner of expression.  And the writer usually has options.
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    Author

    Howdy!  I'm Lance, Managing Editor of words by kurt.  I'm also an engineer and an educator.  With degrees in both engineering and English, I've been providing writing-related services since 1997, and I want to help my fellow engineers become better writers.  That's why in 2014 I started providing free writing tips via this blog.  Enjoy!

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