I’ve been posting intermittently about the importance of precision in technical writing. Two weeks ago I described the proper use of credible and creditable. Last month I looked at the appropriate use of where, demonstrating where writers should that instead of where. This week I look at a similar case — the appropriate use of while.
While is one of those words with connotations that can create confusion for writers and readers alike. Yet if we pull back the curtain, we again we find the culprit behind the confusion is a failure to distinguish between written English and spoken English.
The word while means a period of time or at the same time. It thus often serves a transitional function in sentences. Yet it is this very function, combined with the more fluid conventions of spoken English, that sets the stage for creating confusion in written communications.
Consider the example sentence in the cropped graphic above. Here the writer uses while outside its denotation to contrast between separate two elements. But contrast is better indicated with a word like although or whereas. So the more effective technical writer, employing precision of language, will use one of those words. Here’s how a corrected sentence might result.
While is one of those words with connotations that can create confusion for writers and readers alike. Yet if we pull back the curtain, we again we find the culprit behind the confusion is a failure to distinguish between written English and spoken English.
The word while means a period of time or at the same time. It thus often serves a transitional function in sentences. Yet it is this very function, combined with the more fluid conventions of spoken English, that sets the stage for creating confusion in written communications.
Consider the example sentence in the cropped graphic above. Here the writer uses while outside its denotation to contrast between separate two elements. But contrast is better indicated with a word like although or whereas. So the more effective technical writer, employing precision of language, will use one of those words. Here’s how a corrected sentence might result.
Although galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant, fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant.
Whereas galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant, fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant.
Whereas galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant, fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant.
The writer could also swap the order of the elements if such a change might better fit the tone of the document or simply the personal preference of the writer.
Fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant, although galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant.
Fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant, whereas galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant.
Fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant, whereas galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant.
Sometimes a coordinating conjunction provides a better word than while. Although acceptable in speech, while should never be used in writing when a more precise word can better communicate the intended meaning. Looking again at our example sentence in the cropped graphic above, a writer could revise the sentence using a coordinating conjunction.
Galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant, but fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant.
Galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant, and fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant.
Galvanic corrosion caused the failure at the Philmore plant, and fretting fatigue caused the failure at the Johnston plant.
Selecting the proper word is not a matter of right and wrong but rather a case of more effective versus less effective. More effective technical writing employs precision of language. Thus, more effective technical writers use words like while to convey the meaning in the denotation of the word. Alternative words which may share a related connotation but hold a different denotation will always produce less effective writing.
So don’t while away your writing! Use care while using while. More precise language makes more effective technical writing. And more effective writing both makes a more effective presentation and better represents you and your brands.
And just so you know, I won’t be posting next week due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Enjoy your holiday!
So don’t while away your writing! Use care while using while. More precise language makes more effective technical writing. And more effective writing both makes a more effective presentation and better represents you and your brands.
And just so you know, I won’t be posting next week due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Enjoy your holiday!
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